speaking truth to power is hard fucking work

i'm often tempted to lie to my boss. she's so unreasonable, critical, unfair... but instead of responding to that nonsense with a big old "fuck you", sometimes i find myself still wanting to curry her favor and/or avoid her wrath, by lying about what i have and haven't done, do or don't understand, will or won't accept. and it takes a tremendous effort to *not* give in to that impulse to please, no matter the cost to my self or my soul.

no wonder i'm so tired when i get home at night.