i broke martha stewart's rule today

"Women in business don't cry, my dear."

i went in to tell my primary ally here that i am going to be leaving, and to my mortification, i started leaking tears.

i know i need to get out of here. i know i'm not doing a particularly good job. and... it's hard to give up the hopes and aspirations i had when i started this job. i can't help feeling like it's a failure on my part.

i wish i found it less draining to ward off the negativity that comes from my boss. i wish i had the kind of organizational skills that could be a beacon in this sea of bad leadership. i wish i wasn't taking a $23k cut in pay and benefits to accept this other job.

'least nobody's shootin' at me.

not with bullets, anyhow.