silly me

i gave notice today. immediate response from my boss: "oh good!" she leaned across the table to shake my hand, said "congratulations. it's for the best." said various other insulting things that she has no idea were shitty and mean. i could at least respect her if she were *consciously* an asshole.

i think it's like when you are furious and hurt with a girlfriend/boyfriend and say, wounded and lashing out, "maybe we should just break up!" and s/he says, "now that you bring it up...."

this is not a part of me that i'm proud of, but i realize that i wanted her to be upset, or to at least give some faint signal that she realizes something valuable is being taken away from her. of course, if she could value me in the slightest, i wouldn't need to leave.

life is but a dream

i just woke up from a dream in which i was told i have cancer and a month to live. was i pissed! "but i just got my books unpacked!", i whined.

i had to go around telling people. sometimes it was joyous, as when i quit my job. in the dream, i was back working at the wright, and my former boss started to dither (he was a very anxious guy) and try to plan the transition, and i said, "hello?! do you really think i care about *your* transition?"

heh.

telling jean was the hardest. a kaleidoscope of emotions on her face, but all she said was, "ah."

later in the dream we cracked each other up by listing the upside of the diagnosis.
me: "at least i won't have to wonder anymore what i'm going to die of."
jean: "at least it's not cancer. oh, wait."
me (convulsed with laughter): "at least now i know why i've been feeling so lousy."

i sure hope i'm not done doing whatever i'm here for, 'cause this party's just gettin' good.

we arrrrrrrrrrrrrre everywhere

what first caught my eye was the fully rigged model schooner in the rear window. it was even flying a teeny jolly roger. then i noticed the license plate:
ARRHM8Y

in other news....

* jean is back from points east, huzzah! i feel like i've been sleeping with one eye open and functioning with half my cerebellum tied behind my back for the last six months.

* the move date is nov. 11 and thereafter i'll be in oakland. bye-bye berkeley! ::sob:: but on to new adventures in oaktown.

* starting in january, i'll be the research director for JFK's doctoral psychology program. w00t! i haven't given notice at my current job yet. it gets harder and harder to not say something In!Ap!Propriate! but i want to do this transition as gracefully as possible.